


Sending Signals and Red Flags in Waves

by MangaManiac



Series: Skate the Issue [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, College, Cutting, Depression, Domestic Violence, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, I'm sorry kei, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Oikawa Tooru where are you?, Save my Writing, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 06:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9166039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaManiac/pseuds/MangaManiac
Summary: “Seriously, if you’re gonna stay here you might as well stay at my apartment it’ll be cheaper than staying in the dorms.” It seemed like an innocent enough suggestion but Tsukki almost physically reeled back in his chair. He heard Kuroo talking but he was far away, the conversation was gone and all that was left were memories circling in his head.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! More angst to come I'm very sorry issues will be resolved eventually and fluff will appear maybe.
> 
> Anyway this switches between Kuroo and Tsukki's point of view.
> 
> Also, if you are following this work thank you so much! I didn't think anyone would actually like it enough to keep reading it!

Tsukki’s life was finally coming back together, he didn’t think about hurting himself anymore, he didn’t think about death anymore. The weeks were going by easier, and he started to talk more, especially to Kuroo, because even though he promised himself he wouldn’t be hurt anymore the tall man just somehow got him to open up as if it was second nature. They talked a lot, some texts, don’t ask him how that happened, and some personal times where they met at the coffee shop, and they talked about volleyball a lot, especially on the court. Tsukki was still an amazing blocker, but he was rusty that was pretty obvious and he had a lot of work to do.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Kuroo asked next to him, they were at the coffee shop doing homework, or at least Tsukki was, it seemed Kuroo was more occupied with staring at him than doing his homework.

 

“My homework.” He replied sarcastically.

 

“Jeez sorry!” That stupid grin was back on Kuroo’s face. Tsukki ignored him and kept working, this paper had to get done before next week’s finals and he wasn’t as far along as he would have liked to be. He kept typing in peace for a few minutes before Kuroo interrupted again.

 

“Are you leaving for the break?”

 

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

 

“Won’t your parents want you home.”

 

“Maybe.” Tsukki said it nonchalantly, but, he meant to have an edge in his voice that told Kuroo to stop asking, of course Kuroo never would.

 

“I’m not going home, I’ve never gotten along well with my dad, why won’t you go home?”

 

“I don’t want to.”

 

“C’mon that can’t be all of it.”

 

“Kuroo stop asking.” He decided to be blunt, but of course that only made Kuroo more curious. It was only a few minutes later when Kuroo brought up the subject again.

 

“Seriously, if you’re gonna stay here you might as well stay at my apartment it’ll be cheaper than staying in the dorms.” It seemed like an innocent enough suggestion but Tsukki almost physically reeled back in his chair. He heard Kuroo talking but he was far away, the conversation was gone and all that was left were memories circling in his head.

 

He remembered a young man with a sweet smile, they were the same age and he was kind and calm, and smart. He remembered a tentative hand creeping into his own as they walked down the street. The genuine broad smile he gave as they snapped a selfie at an amusement park, he would have hated it without the young man there to make it enjoyable. He remembered the surprise when he was given a small peck on the lips that turned to something more and made his heart jump in his chest.

 

Then he remembered pain as the most vivid of the memories came to him, they were alone and he was in so much pain, they had broken up some time before as Tsukki started to realize how creepy the young man was becoming. Then, after they broke up he had cornered Tsukki on a late night walk home from studying, he had hurt Tsukki. He had torn Tsukki’s heart apart, he had destroyed Tsukki from the inside out and made it impossible to repair.

 

“Tsukki, Tsukki, Tsukishima.” Tsukki’s head came up as he realized Kuroo had been trying to get his attention. “Are you alright? You went pale all of a sudden.” Kuroo’s face was full of concern and his heart hurt when he realized the fear on Kuroo’s face was because of him.

 

“I’m, I’m fine. I’ll stay in the dorms over break, thank you for the offer.” Tsukki said this in a monotone and he just stared at the table, he didn’t look up at Kuroo and he silently went back to work, trying to forget.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo was worried, he had seen the way Tsukki’s eyes changed earlier, the way his look all of the sudden became distant and unrecognizable. He recognized it because he had worn that look before, when the flashes were worse and he couldn’t pull himself out of the resurfacing memories. He had seen the pain written all over Tsukki’s face, and he had seen the younger man grow paler and paler. He shook him lightly and when that didn’t get him to respond he called Tsukki’s name. That’s when Tsukki finally seemed to come out of it and remember where he was.

 

They had parted ways after that and now it was time for practice but Tsukki wasn’t there. He waited until 15 minutes after practice started and there was still no sign of him, so Kuroo called Iwaizumi over and asked him to take over practice for a few minutes.

 

“Ok, what’s going on? I haven’t seen Tsukishima, is he sick?” Iwaizumi asked with a bit of worry in his voice.

 

“I don’t know. I’m going to go and find him. Just keep practice going, I’ll come back if I can.”

 

“Ok, text me if you need help. I have a bad feeling about it.”

 

“So do I. I’ll let you know, thanks Iwaizumi.” He quickly nodded and headed out of the gym. The clouds above him were dark and he could see small snowflakes slowly descending to the ground. He decided to grab his jacket and go.

 

He ran out of the gym and went straight to the club room, just in case something important had held him back and he was getting ready now. But, when he opened the door it was dark and no one was there, he swore quietly under his breath. He ran to the main portion of campus, there were some students walking around and he spotted someone he knew.

 

“Shimizu!” Kuroo yelled. He saw her turn around along with the woman who was holding her hand, he quickly recognized her as Misaki. He ran up to them, only stopping once he was within a few feet of them. “Have you seen Tsukki?”

 

“Tsukishima-kun? No, why?” Shimizu seemed a little confused but she understood that if Kuroo was here then something was wrong.

 

“He didn’t show up to practice, and I’m worried because he didn’t tell anyone he wouldn’t be there and he seemed really off after we met up at the coffee shop this morning. I’m worried something happened.” Kuroo allowed the genuine worry he had to creep in to his voice.

 

“Ok, we’re just walking around, so we’ll keep an eye out for him. If we see him, I’ll call you and let you know.”

 

“Thank you so much!” Kuroo pretty much yelled it over his shoulder as he ran to go check the route they normally run in the morning. He kept going and going, he basically sprinting, and every few minutes he checked his phone to see if he had missed anything. But, it seemed his gut feeling that told him something was very wrong was right. He kept running trying to remember the way back to Tsukki’s apartment, he had only been there once and it was hard to tell where he was in the dark.

 

* * *

 

Tsukki was on the floor, he was cold and his vision swam. He looked up at the familiar bathroom, and his vision became blurry, where were his glasses? Why was he even sitting on the floor, why was he so cold? He couldn’t remember what was going on so he let his chin drop between his knees, there was red all over the floor and it seemed to be spreading. What was that? It’s warm he thought with distinct clarity, and then he remembered.

 

He had been distraught when Kuroo asked him to stay at his place over Christmas break, he couldn’t forget the scene’s that flashed through his head. He couldn’t forget the fear that crept up on him throughout the rest of the day, until he finally finished classes and headed home. He decided that he couldn’t take it anymore, that he needed to forget everything right now. He wrote a note, at first he was writing it to Yamaguchi, then he found himself writing to Kuroo. He hadn’t cared if he lived or died, he just wanted to forget, at least for a little while. He knew the nightmares would start again, but at this point he didn’t care, he was really cold.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo finally found his way to Tsukki’s apartment and suddenly he remembered that he didn’t have a key. He looked around hoping there would be a spare hidden somewhere, he searched for 5 minutes, and in all the normal places people would put one. Then he realized that Yamaguchi and Tsukki were both taller than the average person and he reached up to the top of the door. His hand hit metal and breathed a sigh of relief, he quickly grabbed down the key, knowing the only reason it was there was because Yamaguchi was so forgetful and he silently thanked him for it. He shoved the key in the lock a little more forcefully than was necessary but he was worried.

 

When he walked in the hall was dark and the outside let in just enough light to illuminate the first few feet of the hall. He saw a light switch and flipped it on, he saw Tsukki’s shoes a little way away from the door so he must be home. Kuroo slowly walked through the hall forcing himself to stay calm, he opened the first door he found. He was looking into a bedroom, he thought it was Yamaguchi’s because it had small feminine hair clips scattered on the desk and he saw a #12 jersey folded neatly on the bed. He closed the door and kept walking in the next door he came up to was the other bedroom, this one was Tsukki’s and he saw a small toy dinosaur on the window sill, that made him chuckle. But, Tsukki wasn’t in the room so he closed that door and continued walking in. The next thing he came across was a large living area, the kitchen was attached to the living room, but they were divided by a small island that kept the spaces separate.

 

He heard movement from his left and looked around, there was another door in the corner of the room and he quickly went to it. He tried to move the door handle but it only moved a little, belatedly he realized it was locked.

 

“Who’s there?” The voice was weak, but to Kuroo it was unmistakable, it was Tsukki.

 

“Tsukishima it’s me, Kuroo. What‘s going on? You didn’t come to practice, I got worried.” Kuroo said it quietly hoping not to spook Tsukki with the worry in his voice.

 

“I don’t know, there’s a lot of red, I’m really cold.” Tsukki’s voice was starting to get groggy and Kuroo’s heart started pounding in his chest, red wasn’t good, and the fact that he was cold, he could only draw one conclusion.

 

“Tsukishima you have to let me in, please, you have to.” Kuroo pleaded with him through the door, he bit back the pet name to try and convince Tsukki what he was saying was important.

 

“Why? You’ll be mad at me, that’s all anyone ever is, they’re always mad at me. Blaming me, hurting me. I don’t want you to do that too.” Tsukki seemed a little more alert when he said it, but Kuroo could tell he wasn’t really there.

 

“No Kei, I could never be mad at you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on tumblr here --> http://animemeg13.tumblr.com/
> 
> Criticisms are always appreciated and any comments or kudos are fine!
> 
> Also I want to do some prompt writing for Haikyuu!! so tell me here, or on Tumblr.


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